孩子，我何时才能拥有你Boy, when am I gon na have you?转载2008-02-24

每当我看到别人怀里抱着孩子那种幸福的情景，看到一家三口手拉手的亲热镜头，我的心都在滴血，我在心里不停地喊：孩子啊，妈妈何时才能拥有你!

Whenever I see the happy scene of others holding their children in their arms, and see the intimate lens of a family of three hands holding hands, my heart is bleeding. I keep shouting in my heart: children, when will mom have you!

我生活在一个偏僻的乡村，1999年2月结婚，时至今日，已经十个年头了，在这十年里，我共怀孕五次，失败五次，留下了刻骨铭心的教训。

I lived in a remote village and was married in February 1999. Today, it has been ten years. In this decade, I was pregnant five times and failed five times, leaving an unforgettable lesson.

九九年二月，我和丈夫结婚了，婚后的日子幸福而甜蜜，刚开始我们不想要孩子，就避孕到十月份的时候，我们想要了，没想到十一月份就怀孕了，怀孕后，我除了早晨有些呕吐外，其它感觉很好，没想到胎儿29周半的时候，我突然羊水破了，我立即听医生的话，全天躺在床上，并行抗感染治疗，随着汨汨流出的羊水，我的心也跌入谷底，约一周后，我的肚子便疼起来，不久，我便生出一个男孩，孩子哭声响亮，会吮吸，可一周后，孩子便不行了，那是怎样的一种心痛啊!至今我无法形容。几天前，我还感觉孩子在踢我腰，但现在他已经完全离去了，这对于期盼着第一个孩子降临的年青夫妇来说，是多么沉重的打击啊!

In February, 1999, my husband and I got married, and we were happy and sweet. At first we didn't want to have children. We wanted contraception until October. We didn't expect to be pregnant in November. After I became pregnant, I had some vomiting in the morning. Other feelings are good, did not expect the foetus 29 and a half weeks, my water suddenly broke, I immediately listened to the doctor, lying in bed all day, parallel anti-infection treatment, with milmy flowing amniotic fluid, my heart also hit the bottom, about a week later, My stomach began to ache, and soon, I gave birth to a boy whose crying was loud and would suck, but a week later, the child was gone. What a heartache! So far I can't describe it. A few days ago, I felt the child kick me in the waist, but now he has completely left, which is waiting for the first child to come, what a heavy blow for the young couple!

在随后的几年里，我又怀孕两次，分别在20周、18无感觉羊膜囊脱出后流产，特别是第三次怀孕2个月时，我年仅49岁的母亲突发脑溢血去世，我真不明白，为什么不幸接二连三地降临在我的头上，怀孕18周时，在一次大便时，我羊膜囊脱出至阴道口，我立即躺在床上，抬高双腿，它又回去了，当时没有流血和腹痛，可当天夜里，开始腹痛，流产不可避免地发生了。

In the following years, I became pregnant twice. After 20 weeks and 18 weeks of insensitive amniotic sacs, I aborted. In particular, my mother, who was only 49 years old, died of cerebral hemorrhage during the second month of my third pregnancy. I really do not understand. Why did it happen to my head one after another, when I was 18 weeks pregnant, when my amniotic sac came out of my vagina at one of my stools, and I immediately lay on the bed, raising my legs, and it went back, and there was no bleeding or abdominal pain, but that night, Began abdominal pain, and miscarriage inevitably occurs.

通过这三次经历，我再也不敢贸然怀孕了，我来到合肥省立医院检查，医生说我宫颈内口松弛，孕后需做宫颈环扎，我很害怕失败，为了能找到一位好医生，我四处打听，去了三趟合肥，最终一位老医生向我推荐了一位医生。流产2年半后，我再次怀孕，15周时，我坐了3个多小时的车，来到合肥省立医院，找到了那位医生，B超发现我的宫颈内口已扩张，宫颈管上端有积液，即羊水，情况紧急，立即腰麻后进行手术，手术几分钟，我被腰麻8小时，在手术过程中，孩子在我腹中剧烈地动，我真担心麻醉对孩子不利，出院时医生也没告诉我需要卧床休息，还是手术后2个月，我从书上得知患宫颈内口松弛，手术前后都应卧床休息，以减少腹压，从那时起我便躺在床上。哪知1个多月后，也就是我27周半时，在一个大雪纷飞的夜里，我胎膜又破了，产下一名女婴，孩子哭了一会儿，就永远地走了。我简直疯了，万念俱灰，我甚至想到了自己一死了之。

After these three experiences, I never dared to get pregnant again. I came to Hefei Provincial Hospital for examination. The doctor said that my cervix was loose and I needed to have a cervix ring after pregnancy. I was afraid of failure. In order to find a good doctor, I asked around. After three trips to Hefei, an old doctor finally referred me to a doctor. Two and a half years after the miscarriage, I was pregnant again. At 15 weeks, I took a car for more than three hours. I went to Hefei Provincial Hospital and found the doctor. B Chao found that my cervix had expanded and there was fluid on the upper end of the cervix, namely amniotic fluid. The situation was urgent, immediately after the waist anesthesia surgery, surgery for a few minutes, I was waist hemp 8 hours, during the operation, the child was in my abdominal movement, I really worried about anesthesia to the detriment of the child, the doctor did not tell me to stay in bed when leaving the hospital. Two months after the operation, I learned from the book that I had a loose cervix and should stay in bed before and after the operation to reduce abdominal pressure. Since then I have been lying in bed. More than a month later, that is, when I was 27 and a half weeks, in a snowy night, my fetal membrane broke again and gave birth to a baby girl. The child cried for a while and walked forever. I was so mad, so desperate, I even thought I 'd die.

我深知做手术，一位好医生的重要性，我决定再上合肥去联系，(大医院中只有合肥离我家稍近些，我只能选择合肥)，可天有不测风云，在我去合肥的路上，我乘坐的汽车和一辆货车迎面相撞，坐在售票员位置上的我被重重地摔了出去，头部只觉得被铁棒猛一击，腿也没了知觉，后来在医院治疗一段时间后，尚未康复，我趁丈夫回家拿衣服之际，偷偷坐车到合肥，孤单一人，一瘸一拐地在省立医院的门诊长廊里寻求名医，中午我也没心情吃饭，无助地蹲在花坛的角落里，仔细地数数我的求子之路，泪水止不住地往外流。

I knew the importance of surgery and a good doctor, and I decided to go to Hefei to contact him again. My car collided head-on with a van, and I was thrown out of the conductor's seat. I felt a blow to the head and lost consciousness in the leg. After some time in the hospital, I had not recovered. When my husband came home to pick up his clothes, I secretly took a car to Hefei and was alone. I limped to seek a famous doctor in the outpatient promenade of the provincial hospital. At noon, I was not in the mood to eat. I was helpless and squatted in the corner of the flower bed. I carefully count the way to the child, tears can not stop the outflow.

从合肥回来后，我听说我们县城有一位老医生可在孕前缝扎宫颈，且不影响怀孕，我就去了，在那苍蝇乱飞的诊室，我做了缝扎术，回来后，我又消了几天炎，可术后一直没有怀孕，且在缝扎后四个月的一次月经中，我突然发现经血中有截3厘米左右的线，我明白线断了。月经干净后就立即去了医院，医生惊讶地拆了线，并说缝在下端，根本不起作用。此后又过了三个月，我一直没有怀孕，这和以前根本不同，前四次我可是很容易怀孕，而且有时意外怀孕，我真害怕我再也怀不上了，正当我准备上医院检查时，我却惊喜地发现，我怀孕了。这是多么的来之不易，第二天，我便请了假，每天躺在床上，包括吃饭。俗话说，久病成医，上次15周做手术都有些迟，我知道这次手术，我必须提前，12周时，我和丈夫又胆战心惊地踏上了去合肥的汽车，在车上，为了省钱，我躺了3个多小时，丈夫站了3个多小时，因为只买了两个座位。到达医院后，就开始住院，检查、手术，手术时间虽短，但对我就像漫长的一个世纪。出院后，我又在车上躺了3个多小时回来了，回来后吸取教训，我这次是全天躺在床上，丈夫也很少去上班，专门在家伺候我。

When I got back from Hefei, I heard that an old doctor in our county could stitch the cervix before I got pregnant, and I went to the clinic where the flies were flying, and I did the sewing, and when I got back, I eliminated the inflammation for a few days, but after the operation has not been pregnant, and in the four months after the suture, I suddenly found that there was a thread of about 3 cm in menstrual blood, I understand that the line was broken. Menstruation was clean immediately went to the hospital, the doctor was surprised to remove the line, and said the lower end of the seam, did not work at all. And then three months later, I wasn't pregnant at all, and it was different, because the first four times I got pregnant very easily, and sometimes accidentally, and I was afraid that I would never get pregnant again, and just as I was about to go to the hospital, I was surprised to find out that I was pregnant. It was so hard to come by, the next day, I took a leave of absence, lying in bed every day, including dinner. As the saying goes, the last 15 weeks of surgery were a little late, and I knew that I had to go ahead of schedule. Twelve weeks later, my husband and I were terrified and set foot in a car to Hefei, where we saved money. I lay for more than three hours and my husband stood for more than three hours because I only bought two seats. After arriving at the hospital, he began to be hospitalized. The time for examination, surgery, and surgery was short, but it was like a long century for me. After leaving the hospital, I lay in the car for more than three hours and came back to learn lessons. This time I was lying in bed all day. My husband rarely went to work and served me at home.

虽然我全天躺在床上很难受，但至少我感觉是幸福的，我每天数着指头算日子，但没想到，厄运很快又降临了。26周的一天，我正在听音乐时，忽然感觉下身有点水出来，我当时脑袋“轰”的一声，凭感觉，我知道胎膜又破了，我立即把臀部垫高，那时丈夫刚把晚饭做好，为了能让丈夫好好地吃一顿饭，我强装笑颜，饭后，我才告诉他。而这时，我们镇上唯一一位妇产科医生又外出学习了，县医院离我们这儿有近一小时车程，一阵慌乱后，我和丈夫决定仍然去合肥省立医院，看能不能保住我们的孩子，躺在救护车的担架上，整整3个多小时内，我只有一种姿势，胳膊麻木了，骨头压疼了，我全然不顾，我只有一个念头，我一定要保住孩子。凌晨三点，赶到了合肥，可惜悲剧再次重演，不久我生下了一个女儿，由于胎位不正，孩子生下时，已经没有了呼吸。

Though it was hard for me to lie in bed all day, at least I felt happy. I counted the days with my fingers every day, but I did not expect that bad luck would soon come again. One day, 26 weeks ago, I was listening to music when I suddenly felt a little water coming out of my lower body. My head was "blaring". By the way, I knew that the membrane had broken again. I immediately put my buttocks up when my husband had just made dinner. I forced myself to smile so that my husband could have a good meal. After dinner, I told him. But then the only gynecologist in our town went out to study, and the county hospital was nearly an hour away. After a panic, my husband and I decided to go to Hefei Provincial Hospital to see if we could save our children and lie on an ambulance stretcher. For over three hours I had only one position, numbness in my arms, pain in my bones, and no regard for it. At 3 o'clock in the morning, he arrived in Hefei. Unfortunately, the tragedy was repeated again. Soon I gave birth to a daughter. Because of the incorrect position of the baby, the child was no longer breathing when she was born.

我躺在病床上，两眼呆滞地望着天花板，我的眼泪已流完，想着这五次怀孕带给我的伤痛，想着这些年来我为了求得一子，所付出的努力，想着我把求子符烧后的灰化在水里喝下去的情景，想着我和丈夫按农村习俗，把婚礼重新办了一次的情景，想着丈夫头上的白发，疲惫的神情，红红的眼睛，我只觉得自己太对不起丈夫了，如果他娶的是别人，此时肯定是儿女绕膝，也不会受这份罪了。人生短短几十年，我只想过最普通的生活，但是，我却得不到，漫漫求子路，我已艰难地渡过了十个春秋，我真的不知何时才是个头，多少个夜晚，我都梦见自己生了一个可爱的孩子，那份甜蜜和欣喜是无法形容的。我和丈夫都是农村教师，每人月薪只有800多元，这些年我为了看病、保胎，不但花去了家中所有积蓄，而且负债累累。最后一次流产，我躺了160多天，流产后，我腿部肌肉已经萎缩，锻炼很长一段时间才得以恢复，流血我不怕，流泪我不惜，权当从头再来，但一次次看着自己孩子，来了，又都去了，我的心比刀割还要难受。

I lay in my bed, my eyes staring at the ceiling, my tears running out, thinking of the pain of these five pregnancies, of all the efforts I 've made over the years to find a son. Think of me drinking in the water after the ashes after the fire, think of my husband and I, according to the custom of the countryside, the wedding re-organized, thinking of her husband's white hair, tired look, red eyes, I only feel that I am too sorry for my husband, if he married someone else, at this time must be children around the knee, and will not suffer this crime. Life is just a few decades, I just want to live the most ordinary life, but, I do not get, the long road, I have gone through ten years hard, I really do not know when the end, how many nights, I dreamed that I had a lovely child, and the sweetness and joy was indescribable. My husband and I are both rural teachers, each monthly salary is only 800 yuan, these years I spent all my savings in the home, and debt. The last time I had an miscarriage, I lay there for more than 160 days. After the miscarriage, my leg muscles had shrunk and the exercise took a long time to recover. All gone again, my heart is worse than a knife.

经历了这么多，我是再也不敢轻易怀孕后做手术了。从网上了解到，全国有很多像我一样的病人，她们可能有的已成功生子，有的正和我一样，遭受流产的痛苦。我多么希望在怀孕前做手术，把我们的病治好啊!我多么希望成功生子者能给我提供一些信息，让我找到一位有经验的名医，来圆了我们的母亲梦，了却我做母亲的心愿啊!

After all I 've been through, I'm never going to get pregnant and operate again. From the Internet, there are many patients like me in the country. They may have succeeded in having children, and some are just like me, suffering from miscarriage. How I wish I had surgery before I got pregnant to cure us! How I wish that the successful child would provide me with some information, so that I can find an experienced famous doctor to express our mother's dream, but my wish to be a mother Ah!

孩子啊!相信写了这篇文章，一定会有很多好心人帮助我们，相信妈妈很快就能拥有你，只有拥有你，妈妈的世界才会变得精彩，活着才会有意义。

Children! I believe that after writing this article, there will be many good people who will help us. I believe that Mom will soon have you. Only with you will the world become wonderful and live will have meaning.