我这样的妈妈是不是太自私了??Isn't it selfish of a mother like me? What?转载2008-8-3

2008年的端午节让我终身难忘。 在端午节的第二天我就带着我23周的宝宝，由于宫颈机能不全，住进了医院保胎，在经过手术后一周，24周+5的宝宝永远离开了我。The Dragon Boat Festival in 2008 made me unforgettable. On the second day of the Dragon Boat Festival, I took my 23-week baby with me. Due to cervical insufficiency, I was admitted to the hospital to retain the baby. After a week of surgery, the 24-week +5 baby left me forever.

入院时宫口已经开了3指，羊膜囊已经滑出4*4*5，从急诊被直接送进了产房。 这个宝宝是我和老公结婚十年好不容易得来的，在产房里我苦苦哀求医生帮我保胎。医生被我的坚强感动了，终于在7个小时后，同意观察一下再说。 第二天早晨，北京妇产医院的产房主任夏主任看了我的情况后，认为等羊膜囊控回去后可以进行宫颈缝合，但是风险很大，而且只能走一步看一步。 就这样，我孤单无助的在产房里头低脚高的控了2天，羊膜囊依然没有回去。 好心的夏主任又叫来病房主任于松一起会诊，于松主任认为可以放掉一些羊水，造成羊膜囊萎缩，退回到宫颈使宫颈口暴露进行缝合。

At the time of admission, Gongkou had opened 3 fingers, and the amniotic sac had slipped out 4 * 4 * 5 and was sent directly to the delivery room from the emergency room. This baby is my husband and I married ten years hard to get, in the maternity room I begged the doctor to help me keep the baby. The doctor was moved by my strength and finally agreed to observe after seven hours. The next morning, the director of the delivery room of Beijing Maternity Hospital, Xia Director, looked at my situation and thought that after the amniotic capsule was controlled, cervical sutures could be performed, but the risk was great and only one step could be taken. In this way, I was alone and helpless in the delivery room for 2 days with low feet, and the amniotic sac still did not go back. The kind summer director also called Yusong, the ward director, to consult with him. Director Yusong thought that some amniotic fluid could be released, causing the amniotic sac to atrophy and returning to the cervix to expose the cervix for suture.

6月12日，我被推进手术室进行缝合，手术很顺利，羊膜囊没有破，宫颈已经实行环扎，只剩1公分大小了。术中出血量高达600CC，我的血色素只有70了。回到病房后， 我头低脚高的又躺了5天，日夜打着抑制宫缩的药——安宝，心跳100多下，每天由于尿频(其实也是一种宫缩的表现)和心动过速，我和老公都睡不了几个钟头。我就这样带着宝宝每天在祈祷和惶恐中度过。

On June 12th, I was pushed into the operating room for suture. The operation was smooth. The amniotic sac was not broken. The cervix was already wound, leaving only 1 cm in size. The amount of bleeding in surgery is as high as 600CC, and my hemoglobin is only 70. After returning to the ward, I lay low for five days, day and night with a drug to suppress contractions -- Anbao, whose heart rate was more than 100 times. Every day, due to frequent urine(in fact, it was also a manifestation of contractions) and tachycardia, My husband and I don't sleep for hours. That's how I carry my baby through every day in prayer and fear.

是人就要解决吃喝拉撒的问题。 别的都好说，唯独排便。 由于长期卧床，我已经有1周没有排便了，使用了各种药物后，只觉得腹部一阵一阵的疼，可是却不敢用力。老公帮我用手抠，可是总要用力才能让大便到直肠呀! 就是因为这个问题，羊膜囊在手术后5天还是再一次膨出阴道。 我又被紧急送回产房。进了产房，我又一次被留在冰冷的产房，倒控了1天后，羊膜囊呈灯笼状，挂在被缝合的宫颈口外，此时宫颈口已经完全消失被展平了。夏主任认为，还是可以保保试试的。但是谁也说不清能坚持到什么时候。也许到了26周失败，也许过不了一周就失败了。

It is people who must solve the problem of eating and drinking. Everything else is fine, except defecation. Due to the long-term bed, I have not defecated for a week. After using various drugs, I only felt a pain in the abdomen, but I did not dare to force it. My husband helps me to use the hand to pick, but must always force ability to let the stool to the rectum! Because of this problem, the amniotic sac expanded again in the 5th day after surgery. I was rushed back to the maternity ward. Into the delivery room, I was once again left in the cold delivery room, after a day of reverse control, amniotic sac in the shape of a lantern, hanging outside the closed cervical mouth, which has completely disappeared and flattened. Director Xia believes that it is still possible to try to protect it. But no one knows how long it will last. Maybe it fails in 26 weeks, maybe it will fail in a week.

产房外的老公实在不忍我再受苦，他认为不能为了一个不确定的生命而毁了一个大人的身体。而且即使保到28周，早产的孩子在经过手术、一系列的用药之后，能有什么后遗症也不好说。虽然我们的心里得到满足，但是对孩子是不公平的，我们带给它一生的痛苦。

My husband outside the maternity ward could not bear my suffering. He thought that he could not destroy an adult's body for an uncertain life. And even at 28 weeks, it's hard to say what sequelae preterm children will have after surgery and a series of medications. Although our hearts are satisfied, but the child is unfair, we bring it the pain of a lifetime.

而我，看着门外被折磨得不行的老公，想着万一早产的孩子有后遗症怎么办，真的是进退两难，也没有信心再坚持下去了。最终，我和老公决定放弃保胎。

And I, looking at the outside of the husband who was tortured, thinking about what to do if the premature child had sequelae, it is really a dilemma, and there is no confidence to persist. Eventually, my husband and I decided to give it up.

在24周+5的时候，我生下了我的宝宝，出生后的宝宝一点哭声都没有，据助产士说，是动的。 我和老公都没有勇气看它一眼，我们没有打听它的任何消息。我和老公都知道，这意味着我们今后将再也不会有宝宝了。 这个宝宝是我们结婚十年，经过两次手术，一次胎停才得来的。

At 24 weeks + 5, I gave birth to my baby, who was born without any crying, according to the midwife, moving. Neither my husband nor I had the courage to look at it. We didn't ask for any information about it. My husband and I both know that means we 'll never have a baby again. This baby is our 10 years of marriage, after two operations, a birth stop to get.

现在在家里，我经常会想是不是我太自私了，太懦弱了。也许，我可以保到28周，哪怕只有1%的可能，我也应该给宝宝一个机会。 即使宝宝有任何后遗症我也应该坚持。 可转念又想，我不能为了自己良心不受谴责，生出一个身体不健康的宝宝，让它一生受苦。 我真的快要疯了，我不知道自己的抉择到底正确与否??

Now at home, I often wonder if I am too selfish, too cowardly. Maybe, I can cover up to 28 weeks, even if only 1 % of the possibility, I should also give the baby a chance. I should stick with the baby even if it has any sequelae. But then I thought, I can not give birth to an unhealthy baby and let it suffer for the rest of its life without being condemned for my conscience. I'm really going crazy. I don't know if I'm making the right choice or not. What?

按：安太=安胎，安太医院因为有治疗流产的绝招而得名。早期自然流产我们有基因疫苗，晚期流产我们有宫颈埋箍术，承诺治疗后再流产退全款。下面的病例在到安太来安胎易如反掌，怀孕前埋上宫颈“钢箍”，生活工作照常，绝不会流产，也能免去保胎之苦。而且这个患者没有必要自责，你的这种环扎法必然失败，做了只是医生的一种美好理想而已，因为宫口一旦开放，就像决堤的河水，决不会自制回缩，而且很快阴道的细菌逆行感染羊膜腔导致胎儿死亡。

Press: Antai = Anda, Antai Hospital is named after the trick of treating miscarriage. Early spontaneous miscarriage We have a gene vaccine, late miscarriage We have a cervix banding, promise to treat and then abort the whole money. The following cases are easy to get to Antai, bury the cervix "steel hoop" before pregnancy, life and work as usual, and will never miscarry, but also avoid the suffering of keeping the fetus. And there was no need for the patient to blame himself, for your method must have failed, and it was only a doctor's ideal, for once the mouth of the palace opened, it was like the river that broke the bank, and it would never shrink. And soon the vaginal bacteria retrograde infection of the amniotic cavity causes fetal death.